I’ve been gone a long time. My life has continued to be a bit of a clusterfuck. Here’s what’s happened. My son’s visit so far has been beautiful. He swims almost everyday in the huge pool his grandparents got him. Sometimes they swim with him. My depression is so severe that I’ve only gotten inContinue reading “I’m Trying. I’m Fighting.”
Tag Archives: depression
Depression Aftershocks
My depression has caused a lot of strife. It broke me down and made it so I couldn’t cope with life because I couldn’t cope with myself or the catalyst for my depression. Now that I’m coming out of my dark fog I’m trying to be more useful. I have a lot of work toContinue reading “Depression Aftershocks”
(Another) New Site & Happiness
I’ve officilly been replaced by a shiny new penny. It’s unfortunate, but I accept it. There’s nothing I can do about it. It is what it is. My mental health has been really tested lately. All these fails I’ve been experiencing have me feeling incredibly defeated. My depression is looming and I’ve got my eyeContinue reading “(Another) New Site & Happiness”
Stifle
I struggle to maintain a consistent, positive attitude. That’s no surprise. When I feel like I’m backed into a corner with an ultimatum, I will make the choice I feel in my heart. This hasn’t happened to me very often, but when it does I choose what I truly desire. I can fake it untilContinue reading “Stifle”
Dream Like
I feel like I’m in a dream like state this morning. I’m not sure why. When I was smoking a cigarette I wondered if I’m in a dream. I know I’m awake, everything just feels off. It’s weird. I’m struggling with writing my new story. I’m starting to feel like it’s shit. Like my plotContinue reading “Dream Like”
Maze
Sometimes I wonder if I’m crazy. Or delusional. Then I think about how people that are crazy and delusional don’t question it. I think I just get paranoid that my life isn’t real. I’m probably just overthinking everything. I do that sometimes. Especially if my life is going well. I feel like getting my bookContinue reading “Maze”
Lost
I’ve been in a deep and severe depression for 6 months. Nothing seems to improve it. I have fleeting moments of happiness and it’s always followed by a quick sinking back into the depression. My meds aren’t improving my brain nor is therapy or groups. I put a lot of thought into ECT treatments likeContinue reading “Lost”
ECT
I just got back my seeing my psychiatrist. My depression isn’t getting better and it started in August because of a situation I didn’t ask to be in. Because my depression has been going on for 6 months now, she asked me to consider ECT treatments. I told her no way, but she asked meContinue reading “ECT”
Eggshells
My voice feels so small I try To keep up with it all. All these eggshells I wish I could smash Like the broken Liberty Bell. I get so confused by how I’m feeling defeated and blue. All I do is try and I’m left to sit and secretly cry. I’m not perfect, I knowContinue reading “Eggshells”
The Breaking of Rainbow (Part 5): Cloudy Day
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Bipolar Wonderland 