Uncategorized – Page 8 – Bipolar Wonderland

Progress (Part 1)

I’m going to hit page 200 of my book today, and then surpass it. I’m currently on page 188. I’m at a somewhat boring part of the story, but I write through that. This is all.

It’s hard to discern if I’m feeling better because of my meds and therapy or if it’s because I have a newfound purpose with this book I’m writing. My psychiatrist wondered this very thing out loud when I met with her last. It’s a good question and I wish I knew the answer. Maybe it’sContinue reading “Reflection”

Writing Progress

I’m on page 166 of my book. I started writing less than 2 weeks ago. I don’t know if this is good progress or not, but I work on my book every day. I sit at the kitchen table and just type and type. I periodically smoke cigarettes and constantly have a cup of coffeeContinue reading “Writing Progress”

Black Coffee

Black coffee makes me feel like a real writer because it’s cliche. It’s so cheesy, I know. I drink a couple pots of it and I still don’t feel wired. I drink too much coffee, but I don’t care. It’s like a soul nectar, really. At night I feel excited for morning because I knowContinue reading “Black Coffee”

Emotions

I don’t get excited about much or very often. Exuding happiness is overall a foreign concept for me. I can show sadness and occasionally anger, but joy eludes me usually. So, having excitement over this book I’m writing is weird for me. I feel like talking about to everyone and anyone who will listen toContinue reading “Emotions”

Immersed

My husband has never seen me fall in love with a project before. He’s surprised by how involved I am with my project. I talk about my book incessantly; the trauma vignettes that I’m writing about, creating a book cover, the possibilities that could come with getting it out in front of an audience. I’mContinue reading “Immersed”

Life

Life is hard. This is a well known fact. In this life I’m battling struggles with my husband. We have had many hurdles and we continue to have hurdles. He’s working his ass off currently to support both of us. I lost my job a couple of months ago under bogus reasons and haven’t beenContinue reading “Life”

Insecurities

Insecurities are powerful. They can hold you hostage in secret out of fear of others noticing them. When others do notice them, and if you’re unlucky, and they point them out it can crush you. The only way to not be held hostage by the insecurities to own them. I have many insecurities and theyContinue reading “Insecurities”

My Project Doesn’t Fit In

What is it with books being written en masse about cheesy, “steamy” romance; werewolves; vampires; poorly done BDSM; and protagonists in general that “have it all, only to lose it…”? Honestly, it all sucks. I’m sure by now my project is obvious: I’m writing a book. A ficitional memoir. I’ve found wattpad.com as a platformContinue reading “My Project Doesn’t Fit In”

I Might Be Crazy

At the risk of sounding crazy, I have this weird ability to easily imagine events happening to me and around me in an alternate universe. But! It’s always bad. Like, I can easily imagine being treated very bad or violently by those around me. It doesn’t matter who it is, I can see in myContinue reading “I Might Be Crazy”