Reflection

It’s hard to discern if I’m feeling better because of my meds and therapy or if it’s because I have a newfound purpose with this book I’m writing. My psychiatrist wondered this very thing out loud when I met with her last. It’s a good question and I wish I knew the answer. Maybe it’s a combination of everything? I don’t think there’s any clear cut reason. Regardless, I’m thankful I’m feeling better. It keeps me out the hospital and/or residential treatment.

When I look back on my life, especially the last 20 years, I’m finding that I feel amazed. For someone who feels like their life is boring, I realize my life has actually been quite extraordinary. All of the trauma and heart break that I’ve survived… it’s hard to believe I’m still alive. I could have easily died at the hands of another or more likely killed myself several times over. Instead I survived it all and perservered. It’s wild, honestly.

The next time you feel your life has been a waste, look back and reflect on what you’ve lived. I’ll bet it’s more astouding that you think. Reflection teaches you a lot. I’ve really started seeing who I’ve really become, and how I got this way. I mean, of course I’ve thought about it many times, but once I’ve started really reflecting I’ve attained more clarity. It’s both hard and good for the soul. I promise you’ll feel stronger if you do this.