Catalyst

When everything you thought you knew

is ripped away from you

you step back and contemplate

how far away

you will float.

A relapse was a catalyst

for another relapse

and I couldn’t breathe

when it was handed to me.

I had to drown

and be flipped upside down

to realize my tears

were a reflection

of my worst fears.

Lies to disguise

what happened in

front of my face

made me want to erase

all I knew.

I was shattered into

a million pieces that fell

deep down into my soul’s well

where I lost sight

of myself and I couldn’t fight

so I sank lifeless.

When I came up for air

I was met with opposition

because of my new position

where my anger and hurt

stirred up the dirt

that buried me.

But, I fought

and I sought

a new vision of me

and what I need.

The truth will set you free

and I found in me

love that was stronger

than all of the misleading fodder.

Breathe, baby girl.

You’re living in your new world.